The Revival of Common Courtesy {3}

Tamy over at 3 Sides Of Crazy has started a weekly feature to share common courtesy and etiquette tips. Each week has a different theme, this week is R.S.V.P.

She asks, "Do you remember to communicate your intentions clearly to your hostess?"

The answer... of course!

I think my biggest pet peeve nowadays is the lack of notice some hosts and hostesses give to their guests, especially if they expect them to come.

Whatever happened to 2 weeks notice of party invitations? I'm not talking about an impromptu BBQ, but for instance a birthday party, a wedding shower, a baby shower, etc. The date of the birthday doesn't change from year to year, and the guests knowing the birthdate can't be expected to keep a few weekends open in that month, just in case the hostess/host picks that weekend for the party. Invitations to tea/coffee or a BBQ or picnic are fine extended via phone or in person with limited notice, I'm not requesting formal invitations to every event by any means. However, birthdays, showers, baptisms, weddings, etc, send an email or invitation via mail requesting RSVP 2 weeks in advance, please.

Also, please don't assume that a general invitation extended at a large group gathering is heard by everyone there. Invitations to future parties should be extended personally, so you know they heard you. These courtesies should be extended to everyone, including family, especially family. Don't be lax with your invitations just because you are related, that's the quickest way to hurt feelings due to misunderstandings.


  1. Great post Barbara - problem with logistics on my part - we should have covered invitations before R.S.V.P.'s. I'm with you though. I hate when invitations are done at other functions. Too many times not everyone actually hears or is able to comprehend the invitation with trying to pay attention to the current event or some have already left.

  2. AMEN! :) hehe. I remember when we sent out our wedding invites (plenty ahead of time) with RSVP, we maybe heard from 1/2 with RSVP. It was a huge pain!

    When I organized my sister's bridal shower, with around 60 invites going out I got around 5 RSVPs! It is TERRIBLE!

  3. I really like this meme that tamy started, I have to get my act together and participate!
    I've been invited to weddings where no RSVP card/envelope is included and the guests are expected to know to send a formal, written RSVP! Good luck getting those back!

  4. Tamy: Exactly! :)

    Kim: Yeah it's pretty bad, actually I have a small story for you but I'll email it, don't want it in public.

    Elizabeth: That wouldn't happen... no RSVP card given I'd call with my regrets.


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